We’ve got a bit of a jealousy issue going on in our house. It’s between my little guys. The subject of their desires? Me.
I always thought it woud be so precious and sweet to have a kid hanging on me and hugging me at every turn. And it is. But I’ve got two of them, who happen to be the same age and who both seem to be going through one heck of a time with separation anxiety. Or at least, that’s what the Internet tells me it is when I Google this stuff.
It’s often just me and them in the evenings, and it’s to the point where I can’t even go to the bathroom without a complete and total meltdown by one or both. Last night, I even ended up slightly injured when I got down on the floor to change Gray’s diaper (since last time I tried changing Gray on the changing table, Graham launched himself behind the table and wailed so loudly I’m pretty sure the neighbors could hear him through the closed windows). Anyway, Graham got upset that I was paying attention to his squirmy brother and this time threw himself at my head, snapping my neck out of place - or so it felt. I could barely turn my head to the right today. But this is common now at night (they don’t really act like this for other people, and it’s not near as bad when both my husband and I are home), and I don’t know where or when it started or how to help them. Honestely, if Grayson even comes near me lately, Graham dives headfirst into me and tries to knock Gray out of the way. Likewise, Gray will get downright violent with Graham and will grab him by the collar and knock him to the ground to get a clear path to me. Keep in mind, they’ve never actually seen physical fighting, so this behavior isn’t learned. I don’t even allow “Tom and Jerry” to be on.
Of course, as parents we always start to ask ourselves “is something actually wrong with them?” (OK, maybe it’s just me who always assumes the worst.) “Is it something I did?” “Is it because I’m not spending enough time with them?” “Are they not getting enough sleep?” (that happens to be my latest theory and so put them to bed a half-hour early tonight to experiment) I realize it’s quite possibly just typical 14-month-old behavior, and I am experiencing a double dose.
In the meantime, assuming this is just a good, old-fashioned case of pre-toddlerhood, I’m curious how others have dealt with this phase? What’s the best approach? Do I ignore it? (I feel horrible looking the other way to a pouty lip and tears. My instinct is to scoop them up and hug and kiss them but maybe that just makes it worse) Or, is there something you’re supposed to say or do? How long does this last? So many questions. Very few answers. Just another day in the life of a parent. Gotta love it.